27 May, 2012

Getting There

I went to school, I went to work. I hated school, I hated work. Now it's all over. No more school, no more work. I have a couple of days left before the next term starts and I know I have just enough time to enjoy myself.

Except that I don't.

This is an empty vacation I'm having. I wake up and I realize I'm alone. I open the fridge, I drink milk. I make peanut butter sandwiches, I boil eggs. I open my phone and I start to play music. I check out the messages I received while I was sleeping. There are barely any, I reply to some. I eat.

I get the speakers and I full blast the songs. I do ten push ups to pretend I'm physically fit. I go to the computer, and pretty much waste my time on the internet. I go to forums and watch people get into an argument. I try to join. I read articles, check out blogs. I get tired. I take a shower and I hurt my eyes. I turn off the speakers. I watch cat videos on YouTube. I read news pretending I care. I hurt my eyes.

I get my phone and I put on my earphones. I go outside to buy food. I see how beautiful the day is, and I wonder why the heck I choose to just stay home. I feel shame, so I look down. I see the shadows cast by the trees on the road. I look up at the great canopy of leaves and the sunlight filtering through. I feel glad. I notice the beautiful song playing. It makes me even more glad. I try not to smile. I don't want to look crazy.

I eat. I wash the dishes. I lay down and read again some of the stories in Skeleton Crew. I get scared a bit, I get drowsy and I hurt my eyes. I fall asleep.

I go online, find interesting things on the internet. I try to blog but I fail. I feel bad. I get my disk and I watch again some episodes of Arrested Development. I laugh and I think I'm happy.

The day goes on, the night passes, the weeks fly through.

The 12th of May, 2010-- that was when I got too bored hating on my chemistry courses and wishing I was still in high school that I decided to create another blog. Two years later, this blog is still up, and now I'm writing this post like nothing's changed. But the blog posts are disappearing, some memories are fading, and my realizations of my life and future are getting clearer. I feel different.

Something's changed.

kudos, you read all that.
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