The past few weeks have been hectic. The amount of stuff I had to do for school was just overwhelming. Written lab reports, oral presentation of experiments, exams (I had three this week), problem sets, papers, playing Temple Run, making peanut butter sandwiches, getting ten hours of sleep-- gosh, I just don't run out of important stuff to do.
You see, I stated in my previous post that I don't give a crap about anything anymore, but that is not entirely true. I have to care about my school requirements. I am four semesters away from getting my degree, and if I want to graduate on time, which I sure as hell do, screwing up this semester would be the worst thing I could ever do in my life. I am taking subjects that are prerequisites of the higher chemistry courses, so to remain quite awesome, I need to keep on kidding myself and try my best to pretend I like chemistry. This has become difficult recently because of a haunting incident which involved my first exam in physical chemistry class.
Physical chemistry is a bummer. You know from its name that it's terrible, like it's the weird-looking offspring of two different animal species which are cool on their own but aren't so when combined, e.g. liger, zebroid, catdog, elepheagle, camellama, etc. Chemistry is quite fun. Physics is punishment. When you combine the two, the chemistry which used to be fun becomes less enjoyable.
A subject is only as fun as its least enjoyable lesson.
I failed in the first exam. I was actually quite confident going into the exam, I remember. When I looked at the test paper, I knew how to answer most of the questions. I read the instructions carefully and followed them. I numbered the pages of my exam booklet, did my scratch work on the even-numbered pages and wrote my final answers only on the odd-numbered pages. I kept all of the pages neat and clean. I also skipped a line after every answer, as instructed. I was really sure I was doing things right, but when the exams were returned and the results were given, I was shocked to see a huge X mark written across the cover of my exam booklet. Right then I recognized my professor's atrocious handwriting which said, "Not following instructions!!!" I was worried, but I thought that my professor would just subtract like, 15 points from my score as penalty so I still had hope to pass. I glanced at the number inside the circle. It was bad. I was scared.
And then my professor told the class, in his ugly guttural speech, "To those who would like to plead or complain about the low scores they got for not following instructions, do not even attempt to do so because I would mark that zero if you come to me. I told you to follow the instructions carefully, but as it turned out some of you couldn't comprehend." I was angry. I followed the instructions, but he's telling me I couldn't even talk to him about this 'cause if I did I would get a zero? Apparently there was something I did not pick up on, but I'm still confused. I remember reading all of the directions carefully. I skipped a line after every answer, and dadgummit, who asks students to do these things in an exam anyway?
"It was written clearly in the instructions that you can only write ten answers on each page."
So that's what hit me. He did not subtract 15 points from my score like I hoped he would as a wise adult man. I didn't know he was this crazy lonely old man who is single his whole life and has no one to give all the cupcakes he bakes to, so he takes delight in setting traps in the exam instructions so that his students would fall for it, and fail, and panic and get scared of him. He didn't frikin check the answers which were on the wrong page of the paper. That instruction was actually crazy stupid. It's a frikin waste of paper! I could write 15 answers on every page while skipping a line after every answer, you know? He didn't bother to check those which were on the wrong side, instead he just encircled them like they're spelling errors, drawing circles in my exam booklet like red balloons. I had more correct answers in those he had skipped. I could have passed that exam, really, but I had to suffer because he's insane and he doesn't know me so he didn't really give a damn about me failing because of his trick.
How can I still like this subject with crap like this happening? The lessons itself are not enjoyable at all, and you combine that with a professor who is boring as hell in class, whose voice you could barely hear, with his distracting unstylish hairstyle, and with those batshit insane rules in the exams. Like, what the heck, these are horrible combinations! If these were food, I would die of diarrhea.
I don't really hate my professor.
Well I know I should just forget about this, learn from my mistake, get a good attitude and just challenge myself to do better and strive harder blah blah blah. But man, seriously? I don't live with the Care Bears. I mean, I am livid. This is not something I could just easily take as a life lesson. Of course there has to be some resentment. It should last for a while, 'cause as time passes by I think am slowly getting over it. It's just frustrating when you work hard to study for something and then it just gets all swooped away by some evil tricks.
Would have been more fun if it were actually sorcery.
Oh well, I passed in the second exam. I could have gotten 1.5 more points if I had not been such a dummy to forget to write the unit in one of my answers. Units are very important in science for some reason. Maybe for style. Well, I have lots of stories I still want to talk about but I will save them for the next posts 'cause this is already quite long. During the time I wasn't blogging lots of things happened but I couldn't write about them then because of my busy schedule. I had my lab exam earlier too and it was difficult. Crap. Lots of crap happen in my life. I need to focus on doing something fun to stay sane.