05 January, 2011

Sweet Suffering

Hi, this is Sugar. Let me tell you her story.

In heaven, there towers a thousand kingdoms made specially different from one another in order to cater and indulge every single kind of person there is on Earth, so that once we all get there, we're all fine. There is this kingdom that is most populated, most requested and most favored. In that kingdom which we have all thought of, dreamed of and blissfully imagined during the darkest days and nights of our lives, lives the most powerful queen. 

Her name is Sugar, lord-ess of the Kingdom of Infinite Treats. We all know she's the most liked. We are all also well aware of what she can do and what she does. We are all in awe of her powers-- of how she bestows sweetness on every food she touches, how she gives joy to our taste buds, and makes our world seem to be filled with colors and sparkles. 

For years, she made humankind flourish. She made them all happy with the sweetness she gave to the fruits they would harvest, and even gave the Mayans chocolate to discover. They all loved the sweetness, her magic, and eventually they got hooked, smitten by what they tasted and felt with every sweet bite. They wanted more. They called for more. The Queen, ever so loving, provided until she got tired of it and said enough. There came a time when there wasn't anything sweet because she knew humans had had enough. However the people never stopped wanting for more. They did everything to talk to the Queen Sugar. They built towers, they built the pyramids, the Mayans even said the world would destroy itself in 2012 if the Queen wouldn't give back sweetness. The Queen finally delivered and out of guilt instead offered herself in the form of sweet crystals, an infinite supply of sweetness, which is what we know today as sugar.

That's how sugar got its name. That's according to me.

Well, when humans finally got control of Sugar, I think they thought of making her pay for letting them suffer for that long a time without sweetness. That's how bitter they were about it, excuse my pun. Throughout the years, humans have developed creative ways to torture her.

Humans started forcing her out of sugar canes.

Humans played with her helplessness.

Humans made her Coke. Humans made her brownies. Humans burned her to make caramel. 

Sugar has her own way to get her revenge on us. If we devoured her, she would make us fat. She could give us diabetes. She could kill us. She is still that powerful. Even up to now, she's playing tricks on us. She needs a spanking.

I have had my share of torturing sugar. We must all truly make her pay for what she did a long time ago. Depriving our ancestors of sweetness? Come on! That must have sucked!

This is what I just did to sugar:

I made her a d-arabino hexulose phenylosazone. I made her a d-arabino hexulose phenylosatriazole. I made her a 4-carboxy-2-phenyl-1,2,3-osatriazole.

I'm evil.

kudos to sugar.

[Happy new year, everyone! This is going to be a fun year for everyone. I'll keep writing and I hope you guys keep reading! Cheers!]


Clarence said...

Yes. You are very very evil :P You know, my professor just told my lab class that we might not be able to synthesize those stuff. The reagents they ordered can't be brought in by Friday. Oh the misery of having no lab class on that day. :))

BTW, I think the story thing you made is awesome. ;)

Jodie-Ann said...

Teehee, you are evil indeed. Your story amused me. :P And that scientific thingimagic you did up there makes no sense to me XD I haven't gotten to that stuff yet(i'm in the tenth grade). But, I'm in advanced science, so I bet I'm going to get there soon. O__O I like biology most though in science. I'm really interested in how the human body works. Oh, the joys of science. :)

Miss Bobo said...

lol... I love your magical explanation of sugar. Although, she started to sound sexy to me o.o at some point, so I am sorry... I think I am on the Queen's side o.o

Anonymous said...

Just looking at chemistry makes my head swim..
I quite liked the story of the Sugar Queen though, very nice! :)

Anonymous said...

Lol at the Sugar story. Maguire?
Also: May chem-sketch! It's an application made for drawing chemical structures. Also, I can't understand that sht. What subject is that?

Norchel Corcia said...

You just discovered your new talent - carbohydrates sketching using MS office! XD

Christopher said...

Ha, that was good. Makes me want a cookie. And, I don't even have much of a sweet tooth. Usually I find cute little animals more tasty.

Lucky Press, LLC said...

Found your blog through Christopher. Love this article on sugar as I am going through a sugar-cookie post-holiday detox and it's not working that well....

Jodie-Ann said...

Heyy! i awarded you on my blog! :D

Writing Junkie said...

Yes, you are evil. lolz
Sweet story (no pun intended lolz).
Very creative. Now every time I pour sugar in my tea i'll think of how i'm torturing the goddess. lolz ^_^

Hey, if you have time come check out my blog

hyojeongseo_Diane said...

All the sugar story got me reaching for the cookies in our kitchen.......Long live the Sugar Queen!!!

Oliver said...

I'm evil! What? No lab? No synthesis for you guys?

I know the story's awesome! Because I wrote it!

Ha. Okay I'm evil. Does everyone have to agree with that!? Really? Jodie, that's college science right there. They're not gonna teach you organic chemistry lab in high school advanced science. Never. Ever. So don't worry. I don't like biology that much.

@Miss Bobo
Oh God! I made it sound like that! I'm busted. LOL. All hail the queen!

Thanks, Ashley!

I don't care about chem sketch. I like using Autoshapes in Microsoft Word! That is the subject called organic chemistry lab. Hell. Pain.

Oh yeah!

Dude! That's crazy. . .

Thanks for stopping by!

Thanks for the award!

@Writing Junkie
Thanks for stopping by! HAHA. That's funny. Every time you do something involving sugar, my story should pop inside your head. That's great. I'll check it out fo sho!

Give me some cookies! Long live Queen Sugar!! =]

PurpleMist. said...


Haha, I love your blog :)

aakriti said...

hahaha......i love this and you are the reason i started blogging so i hope u check out my blog:D...

aakriti said...

*sorry it's www.inchesteen.bolgspot.com....
i am new to this:P

Ken Aldren Usman said...

cool story. . .but the exam involving these sugar stuffs ain't cool. . .we had our own sweet suffering a while ago. . .in fact, the suffering ain't sweet at all :\. . .hahaha

Oliver said...

Yeah, baby!!! Finally the 100-mark! Thank you so much!!!

Oh wow, what a compliment! Thank you so much! You guys are the reason I enjoy blogging so much.

Hello! Thanks for visiting my blog. LOL. I assume you're talking about our lab exam. Man, that was tough! I'm glad I passed! XD

Busola said...

I love your blog! Ugh, I have to take Chem next year and Orgo in my junior year. Bleeeh

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