|Hi, this is Sugar. Let me tell you her story.|
In heaven, there towers a thousand kingdoms made specially different from one another in order to cater and indulge every single kind of person there is on Earth, so that once we all get there, we're all fine. There is this kingdom that is most populated, most requested and most favored. In that kingdom which we have all thought of, dreamed of and blissfully imagined during the darkest days and nights of our lives, lives the most powerful queen.
Her name is Sugar, lord-ess of the Kingdom of Infinite Treats. We all know she's the most liked. We are all also well aware of what she can do and what she does. We are all in awe of her powers-- of how she bestows sweetness on every food she touches, how she gives joy to our taste buds, and makes our world seem to be filled with colors and sparkles.
For years, she made humankind flourish. She made them all happy with the sweetness she gave to the fruits they would harvest, and even gave the Mayans chocolate to discover. They all loved the sweetness, her magic, and eventually they got hooked, smitten by what they tasted and felt with every sweet bite. They wanted more. They called for more. The Queen, ever so loving, provided until she got tired of it and said enough. There came a time when there wasn't anything sweet because she knew humans had had enough. However the people never stopped wanting for more. They did everything to talk to the Queen Sugar. They built towers, they built the pyramids, the Mayans even said the world would destroy itself in 2012 if the Queen wouldn't give back sweetness. The Queen finally delivered and out of guilt instead offered herself in the form of sweet crystals, an infinite supply of sweetness, which is what we know today as sugar.
That's how sugar got its name. That's according to me.
Well, when humans finally got control of Sugar, I think they thought of making her pay for letting them suffer for that long a time without sweetness. That's how bitter they were about it, excuse my pun. Throughout the years, humans have developed creative ways to torture her.
Humans started forcing her out of sugar canes.
Humans played with her helplessness.
Humans made her Coke. Humans made her brownies. Humans burned her to make caramel.
Sugar has her own way to get her revenge on us. If we devoured her, she would make us fat. She could give us diabetes. She could kill us. She is still that powerful. Even up to now, she's playing tricks on us. She needs a spanking.
I have had my share of torturing sugar. We must all truly make her pay for what she did a long time ago. Depriving our ancestors of sweetness? Come on! That must have sucked!
This is what I just did to sugar:
I made her a d-arabino hexulose phenylosazone. I made her a d-arabino hexulose phenylosatriazole. I made her a 4-carboxy-2-phenyl-1,2,3-osatriazole.
kudos to sugar.
[Happy new year, everyone! This is going to be a fun year for everyone. I'll keep writing and I hope you guys keep reading! Cheers!]