18 December, 2010

Where is the Love



I was gone for too long. I'm not even going to ask 'cause I'm sure y'all missed me. You were probably thinking that I got my hands burned by concentrated sulfuric acid, or I inhaled a liter of bromine gas, or I got super-stressed with all my subjects in school, or maybe you didn't really think of me during the time I was gone because you have a life of your own to worry about and I'm not really part of it. Well, whether you like it or not, and whether you like me or not... I am back.


I overheard my mom's conversation with my older sister who dropped by at home today. "You're never gonna know what kind of a person he is until you live together," my mom told her. I was holding a glass of water walking my way to the bedroom. Immediately I thought, "Is she getting married?" I have never heard of her having a boyfriend, so I highly doubt it, but hearing my mom say that also made me think, "Is it necessary for a couple to live in the same house together before they get married?"


I'm not an expert on this, and I'm not gonna write about this topic pretending I am one.


Girls have a huge tendency to become annoying. I have learned that. When you start living together, things are going to get messy. She's going to start complaining about where you leave your shoes, and about the toilet seat. When you get a baby, things are going to become even more complicated. Nights are going to get noisy. The house is going to get even more messy. And somebody else is gonna get 70% of your girl's attention.


It's not that I've already lived with a girlfriend. I can just imagine what it's going to be like, and I'm definitely not looking forward to it.


Teens are never really serious about relationships. Girls get into relationships, I think, only for uhm... free ice creams? For a sense of womanhood? For them to have a reason to ignore their moms? Boys get into relationships for a, well uhm, a girl, right? Society forces us to sort of just try to have a girlfriend even if we don't want to. To make ourselves feel we're growing up because we often lack ways to prove it, as many people say?


Marriage is something taken seriously by a lot of people, but to me it's just for formality. It is done only because of the law so that what is one person's property becomes two people's property. When you decide to marry someone, you get a lock but you don't get the key. The key is thrown into the ocean and you don't need a scuba diver to find it; you need a lawyer and quite a lot of money. But really, does a couple hate each other so much that they become willing to pay gazillions of money just to get rid of each other?


Does a couple really love each other enough for them to decide to tie the knot in the first place? Really?


Love is often just a delusion. Love is just the one good way to become delusional without getting stoned or being awful.


Obviously, my parents' marriage didn't work, and they were both not willing to spend money on each other so they didn't get a divorce, but instead just lived apart. That's where I'm coming from.


I don't really take love seriously. Saying that would probably make myself a bad person in your eyes.


Well, I wrote this in one of my previous posts:


"I have thought about this already: at age twenty-five the doctor would tell me that I have cancer. The doctor would say that I have cancer in a very somber kind of sympathetic voice. He would be shocked that I’m not shocked by his news. Well, I was touching lots of carcinogenic chemicals in college, so why would I be?


"Chemistry is suicide, and that’s why I’m never going to marry my girlfriend. At sixteen years old right now, I probably am already infertile. That means she might never have a baby from me. At twenty-five I would probably have cancer. That means she would have to work full-time so she could help me finance my therapies, all in vain, since at thirty I would probably die already, making her a very young widow. That’s just every girl’s nightmare!"


Of course I was just trying to be funny there. Or maybe not. That's just coming up with a lame excuse to break up with her.


I'm really impressed by how Pierre and Marie Curie made their relationship work.






kudos to couples who have been married for 25 years already.
oliver.

[It hurts me that I neglected this blog for 20 days, forgot about everyone, and now I'm back without coming up with something special for everyone. I'm really sorry. I love all of you guys, and I thank you for reading my blog and caring about what I write. I promise I'm never going to ignore this blog for that long again.]

16 Comments:

Anonymous said...

The way you just casually said that at the age of 25 you'll probably get cancer was blunt, yet possibly true. I dont get why to some people its a surprise if they get lung cancer when they've been smoking for years. Also what if the girl really loves you?

Tom Millson said...

We love you Oliver! :D

Happy Elf Mom said...

Hey, Oliver! My own 17-year-old son neglected his blog for about the same amount of time. And at this age he is NOT interested in the drama that comes from girlfriends, babies, etc. He wants to live his own life. I think that's far more responsible than becoming entangled before you're ready.

As to your parents, I wish them the best. It is very hard to figure out what the best thing to do is sometimes. It isn't always not wanting to spend money that the divorce doesn't happen, or that they don't love each other that the marriage doesn't work. There is probably a lot more going on than you know about, but they don't want to share it with you.

Take care of yourself and do have a lovely Christmas! :)

YellowSguidsArtisticNature said...

This is a tricky subject...hmmm I think relationships when your a teen are just like trying the dating thing out and learning the ropes so when you do turn 25 your not clueless about all of this. And Woman go into relationships to find someone to always be there for them and the security knowing that someone else out there is thinking about them and caring.Also it sorta feels nice being in a good relationship(:.
I think the whole thing of love is quite beautiful when played out correctly..but also I'm only 16 years old and don't have the wisdom on this subject as a 50 year old might have. This is just my small opinion on the matter.
-Madddddddddy
p.s Welcome back :D

Delaney Kay said...

You're a chemistry lover? Oh dear God. I love chemistry, but I can't do it. Balancing redox equations? What does that even mean? I was planning on dying at around age 27 anyway. Not from chemical poisening, but...just because my acting career will have piqued at that point already, so what's the point?

Anyway, back to you. I just thought that I'd share that I'm not a fan of marrige. I mean, hey look at Shannon and Gene Simmons? Their relationship has worked out great. No marrige needed. Do you think that marrige itself is necessary in iteself? I think that living together is a big deal. That really shows the other person's true colors. I know that if I were living with my boyfriend (thank goodness that is 1.) not legal and 2.) many years away)I'd have to deal with irritating things. So I think that living together is really a test of a relationship.

Also, I thought that I'd praise your word choice. I'm very pleased to have found another human being (let alone someone of "teen" age)who has a formed vocabulary.

However, I can't say I agree with one of your points (although this is quite a subjective things [sorry, 'thing' is a placeholder. I couldn't think of a good enough synonym]), that love is a delusion. Sure sometimes. However, I've been in love. Yes, I may be but a teenage girl, yet I KNOW what love is. Because to ME love is being with a person, and knowing you could have someone else, but not wanting them, since you already want what you have. It's realizing that they other person is not perfect, but is perfect for you. It's accepting their faults, and knowing that they will accept you for yours. It's not jealousy. It's not "communication". It's just love. You're held together by that special feeling you have for the other person. You care what happens to them, and you ant the best in life with them, even if it means that you're not with them. It's just care. And it's understanding. And it's an importanance.

Well I've sat here ranting long enough. Off to my own blog.

Keep writing and I'll keep reading. I enjoy you.

-Delaney
doahss.blogspot.com

Jodie-Ann said...

Chemistry's cool. But I just can't balance equations properly like Delaney Kay. :) Lolz. I try though, I try. I love doing labs at school. Using gas to heat things up and stuff is fun. Once, my school let us use these realy big heater-looking-things with some sort of gas in it. I can't remember what the gas was, but I remember wondering how they can trust us with those things
And WE LOVE YOU, OLIVER!!! :D
-Jodie-Ann

Jodie-Ann said...

BTW... I awarded you on my blog. Check it out :D
-Jodie-Ann

aakriti said...

heyy I just started blogging pls check it out
a 5'3 teenager
thanks

Ravenous Rantings said...

I agree with your thoughts and feelings on marriage, also statistically speaking the reason why most marriages fail in the first year or so is because the couple have never lived together.

SJprop03 said...

hey!=] im saskia i just read your blog and well my point of view:now a days i guess it's more normal and acceptable to live together before marriage cause it helps the couples get a feel for what they are gettin themselves into, but when you think about it, back in the day it was never heard of.(not that i lived in that time im only 19 lol) I mean you still have people that have to deal with arranged marriages what not and then you have people that started living together after marriage and are still together now. Heres another thing if your in a relationship thats been going on for awhile and you feel as though you need to "testdrive" what your in for in the future, chances are that your not meant to be together because in a way your having doubts about your significant other. I mean im sure some people disagree which perfectly fine everyone has their own opinion but the way i look at it, you can't "testdrive" everything in life...

Miss Bobo said...

you know, I appreciate you posting about "love" from your perspective whether you're a guy (which you are) and someone who is still experiencing relationships. Its refreshing to me because it reminds me that there is still this frustration between males and females in understanding each other. I have seen girls try so hard to get a guy's attention and its ridiculous. Love shouldn't be put under rules and such things as formality. That is why I don't believe in marriage. I don't think a person would like the idea of being "tied down" to me as vice versa. But that is my personal opinion. I think you should post a poll and see how they view marriage.

Clarence said...

i finally got to read this :D i really do think that most of us are infertile now...that scares me 'cause i want a cute baby. haha! anyways, i agree with your thoughts about marriage. some people get married just because of money, fame, power, etc. some have been tricked by their "other half". some were too drunk to think straight before, after and during their wedding. :|

Oliver said...

@Anonymous
Yeah, I'm just awesome like that. Really, those smokers need more education and should be more aware of themselves. They're doing something wrong with their bodies and they're loving it. That's just crazy. What if the girl really loves me? Well. . . I don't know. How do I know?

Thanks for stopping by!

@Tom
Thanks, man!!! =]

@Mrs. C
Thank you very much, Mrs. C! You're the best!

@Maddy
Oh of course, it's a preparation for something that's about to happen. And LOL you know I was just kidding when I said that girls get into relationships just for free ice creams and a reason to ignore their moms. XD

Thanks for your beautiful opinions! As always. =]

@Delaney
Living together is going to be the most tricky ever. And congratulations to you! You've been in love and you know it's real. Kudos, then!

Thanks for reading!

@Jodie
Thanks, Jodie! Well, labs are cool. They let you guys handle those things for learning. If you do something wrong with it, you know you're screwed, so they're sure you're not gonna play with things like that. AND thanks for the award!!

@Raven
The stats agree with me! That's cool! =]

@Saskia
I agree!!!

@Miss Bobo
You're just one of the most insightful people I've seen here on my blog. You're right. Guys and girls just have trouble understanding each other, but I think I understand girls really well. Formality in love is pathetic. If you love each other, then go, don't mind what the society tells you to do! Marriage is just a waste of money, that is if it doesn't work out!

@Clarence
Oh you. . . =]

I like the way you think. Tricked by someone. Got drunk. Is it the way people get married nowadays? XD

Leah said...

When I was a little girl, all I ever dreamed of was to go to Disneyland and see Mickey Mouse. Then, in my early teens, I dreamed of going to Disneyland and kiss Peter Pan. Late teens, I dreamed of getting married (with Peter Pan) and have kids and have a nice home. Early 20's I dreamed of getting married.. And now? Hehehe...

I believe in marriage. My parents are married for 30 years now, and they are still very much inlove. Now that I'm older (and things have changed since I'm a little girl), I've come to realize that.. yes, marriage (in a way or another) is just a formality. I mean, a couple could live together and live happily ever after.. without getting married. It is so, for couples to be fully accepted by the society. And they just get married because of that.

Still, as a girl.. I cannot deny the fact that I want to get married... SOMEDAY. I am definitely not rushing. It's every girl's dream to get married to her prince. Every girl.

I think that living together is not a bad thing. I actually think that it is healthy. All that matters is the love. If two people really love each other, everything will just fall into place. And when the two decide to get married in the end, that would be the bonus.

My opinion. :)

Oliver said...

@Leah
Thank you so much for the comment!

Haha. I like it that with your age transition, Disney has always been there, and Peter Pan. LOL. XD

In everything-- marriage, living together, having kids or not-- the most important thing is love. In everything, the only thing that should matter is whether the couple love each other. It doesn't matter if they are married, if they have lived together. . . but you know, the society isn't what I believe it should be. So, hello, marriage is what matters.

Leah said...

Haha!! I know, right? Everything's about Disney. I grew up watching Disney movies and fantasizing about Disney princes. Haha!! The idea of living happily ever after. And when the relationship fails, blame it all to Disney for setting up such high standards. Teehee!! JOKE!

Yeah, so true.. the most important thing is LOVE. :)

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