13 September, 2010


Ah, spiders! They have eight hairy legs, a mouth that bites and stings. They can crawl over places and live in your apartment without you knowing until you finally, thank God, decide to clean your bed, change your sheets, tidy up your desk, and sweep dust off from underneath your closet. By then, you will be able to greet the Spidey family consisting of about thirteen little spider-lings that will quickly run towards you, crawl over you feet with their tiny legs, and climb up to your pants and down your shirt. Aren’t they so cute?

No, they’re not.

But I still don’t understand how people can be so scared of spiders. Girls, boys – they just hate em! Spiders can’t hurt you, can they? I mean, yeah, they may have some kind of poison needles as teeth, but they… are so tiny! Before they can even get to bite a part of your body, your foot has already turned into a weapon that can kill hundreds of their species. I don’t like spiders but that doesn’t mean I’m scared of them. I just don’t like them. Well, that means I’m perfectly normal. When I see a spider on my desk, I just let it run away. I don’t want to kill a spider because I… might disrupt the ecosystem, you know, the way of nature. I don’t want to kill a spider not because I’m scared of them. I am Mother Nature’s most faithful servant and I treat every creature as one of her children. No, really.

Killing spiders is an awfully disgusting task. Imagine crushing it on top of your desk and you’ll get a corpse still wet with spider juice glued on it. So what do I do? I just ignore the spider, continue pretending I’m reading my text book, and after ten seconds it’s just gone! Or if I am really bored, I will get a sandwich bag and catch that spider. I will throw it out the window so that the dogs can have something to play with. Cruel fate.

Yes, I don’t like spiders, but I don’t hate them either. I’m making two conflicting statements once again like in my previous post, but I’m sure you’re cool enough to understand what I mean. When I see a spider, I don’t scream. I don’t become a gladiator geared up to kill an ugly arachnid. When I see a spider, I see a spider. I stare at it for a few minutes, and with an ultimate bored look I say, “I don't like you. Go away.”

Wait, who likes spiders, anyway?

Here’s why I don’t like watching news: I get terribly disturbed with what I am told of by the newscasters.

Just recently, there’s this thing that happened somewhere. Like I said, I got this story from the news on TV. Three men were shot, killed, by the guards of a private cattle pasture. So these guards were arrested, because one man reported the incident. That man was with those three men who were killed and he survived to tell the story by doing a dog trick: play dead. The story is the guys were caught by the guards, and then they were taken somewhere, and boom they were shot one by one. I don’t know how the guy was able to convince those guards he was already dead before anybody shot him. Maybe he pretended he had a heart attack upon seeing the gun pointed at him. Maybe when his friend was shot he pretended he was also shot by the same bullet and the guard who shot him was just too happy to brag that he killed two people in one shot. Maybe maybe, I don’t know.

So yeah, the guards told the police that those people were trespassers who were going to steal cows, so they shot them. The survivor told the police that they weren’t thieves; that they were just out there catching spiders. 

Haha, like, so cute.

Seriously, what are they, five-year olds? They’re adults! What, they could’ve given the excuse that they were out in the meadow catching butterflies, but because they’re adults, they said they were out catching spiders… and not butterflies? What the hell would they do with those spiders they would catch, anyway? They were thieves! They sneaked in the middle of the night into a private land to steal some cows! Like, who would believe them? Catching spiders is just a ridiculous excuse. The police, of course would believe them. We have terrible, terrible police here.

The guards were arrested because they killed people – and that’s right. They are security guards and their job isn’t to kill people. They are just there to protect the land and make sure they have the same number of cows when the sun sets and when the sun rises. Their job is to protect Mother Nature’s children, not to kill somebody’s children. Even if they were thieves, they shouldn’t have killed them. Nobody here has the right to kill thieves. More importantly, nobody here has the right to kill people who are just so, as they said, fond of spiders.

So if you want to do some spider-catching, just start cleaning your room.

Your mom will be pleased.

kudos to spider lovers.


Mattson Tomlin said...

ha. when i was quite young i woke up one day unable to open my right eye. my forehead had swelled all the way over, in a Quasimodo-esq kind of way. Absolutely terrifying, when you think a spider may have laid eggs in your skull.

Mrs. C said...

Well, one can expect to be shot if one trespasses. But the spider story is a new one to me.

Here we have brown recluse spiders. Here's what happened once:


ScoMan said...

I don't mind most spiders, but there are some big ass spiders in Australia.

Those ones I crush. I kill. I spray. I exterminate.

Tom Millson said...

Oliver! I've just written a post about spiders! My views are a little different to yours though... As the title suggests.


RicAdeMus said...

I've killed my share!

While on a trip, I saw a beautiful spider web in front of the hotel--it stretched from a "keep off the grass sign" to a nearby post...it was illuminated by a light on the post. It was so cool, until I noticed the 30 tiny, new-born spiders learning to walk. Yuck!

Oliver said...

I don't like spiders and spiders aren't well-liked so that mean's I'm perfectly normal.

Spider eggs... inside... my skull... Terrifying. That experience of not being able to open your eye must've been really terrifying, also.

@Mrs. C
That's one bad spider, isn't it? It did harm to a sweet little kid!

I don't care if they're big or small; the people around me want them gone.

I kill spiders because I'm told to do it, much like your mom saying, "Just kill it," my mom wants me to do the killing.

Thirty spider-lings coming out of like... eggs? =| You must've thought you were in a horror movie.

Miss Bobo said...

lol.I hate insects and I hate spiders. They are just so creepy looking and they come off with this vibe of disease and all the negative catching thing. I usually want them dead because they are very dangerous animals or species or whatever you call them.

Queen_Raiden said...

I don't mind the small spiders but the large ones just creep me out (unless they're behind a glass wall). Maybe is the result of stepping on a large spider that I dislike (bug juice everywhere and all). If you don't mind me adding to your collection people who have mentioned something about spiders http://quenchingkarma.blogspot.com/2010/09/mystery-orb-spider.html.

Oliver said...

@Miss Bobo
I think "insects" is the right word. They're arachnids. So, nobody likes spiders! It's for certain!

@Queen Raiden
Your link is broken! But yeah, the small ones don't bother me, but when I see something larger than me.... AHHHHH!!!!!!

Queen_Raiden said...

It's not broken to me. I'll post the link again but if that doesn't work I dunno what's wrong.


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