27 August, 2010


Where's the sincerity in the word, "sorry?" When people say I have to be sincere when I make an apology, I lose my mind. I can never think of a way how I can do that. I just lose my hope of being forgiven and spend one night talking to God about how unjust this child of His is. Not only is showing you're sincere very difficult to do, I also just don't see sincerity per se on every sorry I say in my life. Does this mean I'm a horrible person? Probably. Well, the virtue of sincerity to people drives me crazy. Sometimes they demand a lot of things from you and will never believe you're truly sorry until you do something ridiculous on your part . They say, "Actions speak louder than words, babe." I say, "Hey, there! I'm really sorry. Wanna watch something awesome? *sets myself on fire* *WBHOOSH* Forgiven?"

And I'm not. Never will be.

But that's only when I make a huge terrible mistake. On a daily basis, I don't say sorry while wanting to set myself on fire. I say that word reflexively. That means I do not mean it at all. It just comes out of my mouth when I bump onto someone and that person must thank my mom for programming my brain that way. More often, my sorry is said just for the sake of being polite. For example, when I inadvertently step on someone's toes, "oh, sorry" is just a polite way to say, "Goddamn those ugly feet." When I bump into someone (or when someone bumps into me, uhm how do I know who bumps on who? We bump into each other.) not looking at the way on the corridor, "oh, sorry" is just the polite way to say, "Watch where you're going, idiot!" Whatever kind of reputation and however low ethos these confessions give me, I will want to say that I mean every apology that I'm going to say in this post. I am at my sincerest while saying these apologies. At my sincerest doesn't mean anything. It just means I really want to say sorry for a few things.

First of all, I want to apologize for the previous post. It is a random set of words that don't make any sense. Lorem ipsum is actually used in templates and typography just to show how the text will look on print. People in the old times in the printing press get distracted when the words they look at actually mean something so they decided to invent a set of words that... don't mean anything. I just used Lorem ipsum to try using a bigger font size. That brings me to my next aplogy. (PS: I just made up the gratulatio a vita on the last post, hoping to make "kudos to life" sound Latin.)

I want to apologize for the really small font size I use in my posts. I know it may be really hard to read for a lot of people, but I tried to increase this blog's overall font size and... I didn't quite like it. The size of the text here is part of my aesthetic so I just can't help sticking with it. I myself sometimes have a hard time reading this but I enjoy doing so. I love the way my blog looks right now but I... I'm really sorry, guys. Sorry, retinas.

I want to apologize to my chemistry professors. I always use Wikipedia as a reference for my results and discussion reports despite their constant reminder not to use it. It is just so tiring to rummage through bookshelves looking for journals that somehow discuss the experiments, and even when I find a book that has a title related to the experiment, it doesn't contain anything related to the experiment. Why use the library when you have the internet? I also use other trustworthy websites, though. You know those .edu and .co.uk. I trust those websites. But whatever. I don't care if Wikipedia is unreliable; it has everything I need.

I want to apologize to my lab instructor in high school. I broke one separatory funnel while getting it out from the shelf and I didn't tell anyone about it. I just placed it back in and went whistling out of the lab. I want to apologize to my current lab instructor for breaking one 250-mL volumetric flask. I'm going to replace it someday. Why do I keep breaking things? Maybe I'm not meant to become a chemist. When I become a doctor, things might be worse.

I want to apologize to my mom for buying another ticket to see the same musical this month. But God, I loved it.

I want to apologize to my sister. I read her diary, and "read" here is not in the past tense. Even if I say sorry, I will keep doing it. I just want to say sorry... just for so-called moral values.

I want to apologize to the whole Philippines. I laughed at Ms. Philippines in the Miss Universe pageant. I'm so sorry but her answer to the question was just so... laughable. I know it's crazy how she got a personal question while the others were asked about current events/social issues. Again, I'm sorry but I will keep laughing whenever I remember it.

Have I said enough apologies?

Enough for this post.

kudos to sincerity.


Tom Millson said...

"Lorem ipsum is actually used in templates and typography just to show how the text will look on print."

Haha I was right! Sorry...

Good post :) I know what you mean.

theTsaritsa said...

I appreciate the apology! haha, I have pretty good eyesight, too :)

ScoMan said...

I think you said too many sorry's, so the sorry you said to use was kind of watered down. It didn't mean anything.

I'm the kind of person who hardly ever says sorry, so that way when I do say it, people know I mean it.

If I bump into someone, I don't apologise, I make a joke and we both have a laugh.

I think that might be where I differ, instead of sorry being a reflex for a minor thing, my reflex is humor.

Oliver said...

Thanks, guys! I'm glad you've all got good eyesights!

And that's why you're awesome, Sco. =]

Mate said...

Sorry the most over used under meant word in the English language ... closely followed by Thanks.

Cheers Mate

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